We’ve covered some crazy weird animals here on The Weekly Blend, but now it’s time to look at a few of the ones you don’t exactly want to meet in a back alley.
The below aren’t just odd, or ugly, or unique—they’re absolutely 7 of the World’s Most Freakishly Dangerous Animals. Everything from spiders that will cause breathing complications, paralysis, and intense four-hour erections prior to your death—yeah, seriously—to 10-foot long “dragons.”
Nothing like opening an article with talk of dragons and death-bringing four-hour erections, so let’s go ahead and dive in, shall we?
1. Cone Snail
Found throughout the warm waters of Indonesia, Hawaii, and the Caribbean, we start with something friendly and gentle-looking—the Cone Snail! But don’t be fooled. These lil asshats have hidden, harpoon-esque teeth of sorts that harbor conotoxin. Conotoxin is a complex venom that just happens to make these suckers the most venomous of all snails. There is no known antivenin applicable here and symptoms include immediate paralysis. However, only a few species can kill humans, so take solace in that.
2. Cape Buffalo
The Cape Buffalo hails from Africa and has a serious attitude problem. Nicknamed the “Widowmaker” and “The Black Death,” these brazen bovines gore and kill more than 200 folks a year. It’s not tough for ‘em—they’re six feet tall, weigh almost a ton, and won’t run when wounded. There are only 900,000 left, however, meaning it’s unlikely you’ll have to throw hands with one anytime soon.
3. Black Mamba
“Speed kills.” That’s a more apt saying than ever thanks to the Black Mamba. Indigenous to southern and eastern Africa, these sinister characters are the fastest snakes alive and can move at 12.5 miles per hour. At 14 feet long, they’re also among the longest snakes, second only to the King Cobra. And when threatened, they bite repeatedly and deliver a potent combo of cardio- and neurotoxins. The result? A nearly 100% fatality rate within just 20 minutes if no antivenin is present.
Why the super high fatality rate? A single nibble is powerful enough to kill 10 people. Damn.
4. Brazilian Wandering Spider
These fine fellows from South and Central America has the dubious distinction of being cited as the world’s most venomous spider by the Guinness Book of World Records. They enjoy traipsing around jungle floors but quite often chill near human settlements, stowing away in cars, boxes, boots, and more. Fun, right? Nah, homie. Their bites cause swelling, skin cell destruction, breathing complications, paralysis and four-hour erections (priapism).
Wait. Four-hour erections? Maybe they are all about a good time, after all. On a serious note, actual ED research surrounding the Brazilian Wandering Spider is ongoing.
5. Komodo Dragon
Komodo Dragons love to eat! Birds, buffalos, other reptiles, humans. Nom, nom, nom! And if you ever have the glorious fortune of meeting one of these friendly fellas—they’re pretty hard to miss at an average of 10 feet long and 300 pounds—they’ll liable to charge you, literally rip your throat out, then back away and take a little siesta as you bleed out. After which point they’ll saunter back up and consume the entirety of your flesh.
But hey, they only need to eat once a month… so no biggie, we guess?
6. Golden Poison Dart Frog
Image Credit: Animalia Life
Don’t let the pretty coloring fool you. These South American rain forest frogs pack a punch—specifically, a batrachotoxin that in a two-microgram dose is strong enough to take out ten adult males. And since its poison glands reside under the skin, they don’t need to bite or sting you. Instead, a simple touch may do you in.
7. Blue-Ringed Octopus
Image Credit: Ferrebeekeeper
The Blue-Ringed Octopus looks pretty awesome but their venomous nature is seriously gnarly. While they’re only the size of a golf ball, they produce enough toxin to kill 26 adult humans. There’s also no known antidote, which is totally predictable. In short: steer clear of these octopuses.