by Billy Kirk February 14, 2018

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Actually, realistically there are many of you out there that take exception to the above greeting and think today’s pretty stupid. That’s okay—it’s a justifiable feeling. Regardless of your relationship status, there are many that just don’t dig the commercialization of this “holiday.”

If you’re one of those peeps or are simply looking for a quick laugh, we’ve assembled the following for ya: a compilation of some of the worst Valentine’s gifts we could find. Consider yourself lucky you haven’t received any of these.

And if you have… well, we’re sorry?

 

1. Undershare

via incrediblethings.com

The above was our lame pun on “sharing” and “underwear,” but yeah, these “Fundies” are designed to be for “four legs and two rears.” Pro tip: Unlike the suggestion, do NOT gift these to just any close friend.

Although on the flip side, it’s a hell of a way to #shootyourshot, right?



 

2. Fast Food Romance

If you’re taking your hot date to White Castle on V-Day, you’re doing it wrong.

 

3. I Love You to Death

via keepbusy.net

“Give her the perfect gift, make prearrangements as a couple with the affordable funeral home.” What in the actual f***?!

 

4. Hygienic Hijinks

via baronbob.com

Because #1 on your and your S.O.’s self-improvement list is removal of “tongue fur.”

 

5. Sweet Dreams, Mom and Pop

via Reddit



This kid clearly meant well and, hey, props to him/her for taking the time to delve into arts & crafts on this big day. And, technically, the kid ain’t wrong… they are lucky to be alive. But there’s no denying the threatening undercurrent here. Watch yo backs, mom and dad.

 

6. Unfaithful… the Movie

“A New York suburban couple's marriage goes dangerously awry when the wife indulges in an adulterous fling.” Because you totally want to give your significant other ideas.

 

7. Great Dad; Questionable Husband Skills

Oh, Max. She teed it right up for you, too! (The absence of a gift is almost always worse than no gift at all.)

 

8. BRENDA

We’ll just leave this here without further comment.

 

9. A Very Special Girl Fried

We’re not quite sure what’s worse—the lazy repurposing of the card or the misspelling of “girlfriend.”

 

10. Not Even Really a Fail



…but totally worth including.

OK, so, technically this youngster MAY have failed but HOLY SHIT what a recovery. Adults reading this, you now know what candy to carry around with you on all upcoming dates.

Billy Kirk
Billy Kirk