To celebrate the end of school, this is a tribute to all those times college students sent their professors woefully terrible and misguided emails while drunk, inattentive, or hopped up on Hydrocodone.
The misspellings are plentiful, the expressions are mind-numbing, and the requests are often as “hail mary” as you can get. It’s all pretty wonderful. Enjoy!
Short, sweet, and to the point. Need anything else really be said?
Those wisdom teeth painkillers are some goooood stuff.
Well, that’s one quick way to make your professor believe you’re an idiot.
This one has the perfect professor response, too! (Hat tip to BGR.)
This one’s got a lot going on. The request to magically change a grade from a D- to a B+, comedic misuse of “literally,” and an immediate admission that the student in question won’t even be attending class the following day due to hand cramps. Wow.
Update: She got her extension. And sweet baby Jesus, she clearly needed it.
Following up “I am confirming my compliance” with “love you” sounds unsettling.
But seriously… this writer has no idea what the hell the question in the above email is about. (Which is why he was a comm student.)
This video of Allen Iverson might be the most relevant thing of all-time:
Olive Garden will always be a guilty pleasure.
“love you bye”
This one was so good it made the Huffington Post.
This one isn’t actually a screwup—we wanted to end on a bright note. It’s difficult for us to believe this is true, but gosh, we want to believe.